How to Write Wedding Vows That Will Melt Hearts (And Give Everyone All the Good Vibes!)
Hello lovers! If you’re here, you're probably ready to tackle one of the most important parts of your big day, namely, writing your wedding vows. Now, if the thought of putting your heart into words has you slightly terrified (or completely baffled), don’t worry—you're not alone! Wedding vows don’t have to be intimidating. In fact, they can be as heartfelt, funny, quirky, or poetic as you are. I'm here to guide you through this journey with some personal tips, a dash of humour, and a pinch of creative inspiration.
As a celebrant, I’ve heard vows that range from tear-jerkingly romantic to laugh-out-loud funny—and everything in between. So grab a cozy drink, a pen and paper (old school notes vibes) get comfy, and let’s make sure your vows are unique, memorable, and 100% *you*.
Why Are Vows So Important Anyway?
Your vows are the heartbeat of your wedding day. This is the moment where you’re promising to stand by each other, to laugh together, to weather the storms, and to keep each other’s favourite snacks stocked (because, let’s be real, that’s what true love is all about). Vows are a public declaration of your love and commitment, but they’re also an intimate message that only the two of you will fully understand.
Think of vows as love letters to each other—promises and memories sealed with a kiss. So let’s dive into making yours unforgettable.
Kick the Clichés to the Curb
When it comes to writing vows, don't be afraid to let go of “standard” language. Skip the generic phrases like “I promise to be your best friend,” and try to find fresh ways to express your commitment. Instead of “I promise to stand by you,” maybe it’s “I promise to stand next to you, even when you’re insisting on singing ‘I will walk 500 miles’ after midnight at karaoke.” Or rather than “I promise to love you forever,” try something playful like, “I promise to love you longer than it’ll take me to finish my Netflix queue.”
Personal and specific always wins over clichés, so think about the little things that make your relationship special, the little things that you laugh about and are unique to you as a couple. Have fun with this!
Think About the Why, Not Just the What
Your vows aren’t just a checklist of promises—they’re a reflection of why you’re with this person. Think about moments where you realized they were the ‘one’. Maybe it was something big, like how they held you together after a rough day, or something as simple as how they remember how important it is to take out the teabag in your tea.
Instead of focusing on what you promise, dig into why you’re making that promise. If you’re promising to be by their side, think about why that’s important to you. It could be because you know they’ll need someone to hold their hand at the dentist or because you can’t imagine a world where you’re not together.
When you give some thought to why these commitments matter to you, you naturally start to connect with the shared values of your relationship and the reasons they so dddply matter to you both.
Tell a Story That Only You Two Share
Is there a moment or memory that truly represents the magic between you? It could be the time you got lost on holiday and discovered a hidden beach, or the quiet nights spent watching movies under a blanket. Share those little nuggets in your vows. These are the memories that brought you here, so weave them into your promises. Something like, “I promise to bring you spicy tortillas for every movie marathon, even when I know you’ll eat all of mine.”
The beauty of sharing these private stories is that they give everyone a peek into your unique relationship and make your vows even more intimate.
Sprinkle in Some Humour—Laughter Is Love’s Best Friend
Who says vows have to be all serious? Humour adds a personal twist and lets your personality shine through. Maybe you’re promising to always surrender the remote, to tolerate their fascination with true crime documentaries, or to love them even when they leave dishes in the sink.
The best vows balance humour with heart. Try something like, “I promise to love you even when you’re cranky, hangry, and pretending you don’t know why.” Or, “I vow to love you even though you always insist that pineapple belongs on pizza.”
Humour brings warmth and comfort to an otherwise nerve-wracking moment, and it helps everyone feel a bit more at ease.
Make Specific Promises, and Don’t Shy Away from the Silly Ones
Everyone expects the standard promises, like loving and supporting each other, but it’s the quirky, specific vows that’ll make people smile. If you’re pledging to be their personal spider-catcher, or always share your dessert (you’re a better person than me!), add that in!
For example:
“I vow to always steal your chips and pretend like you didn’t see me do it.”
“I promise to watch your favourite films—even the ones I pretend to hate.”
“I vow to let you win at monopoly every once in a while.”
These promises may seem small, but they show the intimacy of your relationship and are often the things that truly define your love.
Get your Poet on! (Yes, Even If You’re Not Shakespeare!)
Not everyone feels like a poet, but if there’s ever a time to try, it’s now! Even just a short, poetic line can make a huge impact. For instance:
“You are my sunbeam on a cloudy day.”
“You’re the lemon to my lime”
You can borrow a quote from a song, a poem, or even a funny sitcom—just make sure it’s something that resonates with both of you.
Write with “You” Instead of “I”
Try making your vows more about your partner than about yourself. Instead of starting every line with “I promise,” why not shift to “You are…” or “With you…”? This simple shift keeps the focus on what you adore about them, and it brings a unique twist. It is also often an easier approach to focus on why you are marrying your partner. For example, “With you, every day feels like the best adventure.” and “You are the calm to my storm, the laughter to my silence.”
Focusing on your partner helps to give you some clarity and can feel less intimidating.
It’s Okay to Get a Little Vulnerable - Really, it is!
Vows are one of the rare times when you can lay your heart on the table, fully exposed, without holding back. If your love for this person has changed you, given you strength, or even opened up your heart in ways you didn’t expect—say it. You’re letting your partner know that they mean the world to you, and you’re sharing that truth with all of your loved ones.
Look at some fresh ways to add vulnerability without leaning on familiar language. The idea is to capture what makes your love feel genuinely life-changing or deeply grounding, without sounding like something everyone else could say.
“You’ve shown me that I can be myself, completely, and still be loved beyond measure.”
“Loving you feels like an exhale I didn’t know I was holding in.”
“With you, I feel braver, like I can take on anything, knowing you’re by my side.”
“Your love has a way of making me feel understood in a world that often feels confusing.”
“With you, I’ve learned that love is as much about the quiet moments as it is about the grand gestures.”
Each of these lines touches on something unique about what love can bring to a person’s life. They focus on transformation, self-discovery, and connection Make the sentiment feel specific and grounded in your unique journey together.
Keep It Short, Sweet, and Real
You don’t need to write an essay. (Unless you’re both into that, then go for it!) Try to keep your vows to a few paragraphs, around 1-2 minutes long. Remember, it’s not about how many words you say, but about saying the right words.
Focus on quality over quantity. Your promises should feel like a distilled essence of your love. Get rid of any filler words or vague promises.
Practise, But Don’t Over-Rehearse
You want your vows to sound genuine, not like you’ve memorised them for a presentation (no PowerPoints please!). Practise reading them aloud to make sure they flow, but don’t rehearse so much that they sound forced. If you get choked up on the day, let it happen. Tears are welcome here!
Bonus Tip: Ask for Help If You Need It!
Sometimes, having a little extra support can make all the difference. I’m here to help you refine, brainstorm, or even give feedback on your vows. Whether you just need a sounding board or a full-on vow-writing session, reach out! There are no prizes for struggling on in isolation. Together, we can make sure you’re standing up there with a script that feels perfect for you.
Final Thoughts
Your vows are your chance to share a piece of your heart with the person you love most, and there’s no “right” way to do it. Write from a place of honesty, humour, and heart. Your guests may cry, laugh, or sigh dreamily (or all of the above), but most importantly, you’ll know that you’ve spoken words that will stay with you for a lifetime.
Here’s to vows that are as beautiful and unique as your love. Cheers and all the good vibes!